Schlock Therapy and Liquid Dreams: Chapter 23 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. 22 pages to go. Let's do this. This chapter opens with Christian having a dream about fucking Ana against a door: We're fucking. Fucking hard. Against the bathroom door. I avoided covering a lot of the sex scenes in this book because they were repetitive, boring, and nearly identical to the descriptions from … Continue reading Schlock Therapy and Liquid Dreams: Chapter 23 of EL James’s “Grey”

The Grammar Wizard: Chapter 22 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. Oh, forgive me. In the last post I said that every chapter opens with someone just waking up -- but that's not true. Because each chapter, like a shitty textual Cinderella, must end at the stroke of midnight. So if Christian hasn't gone to bed by midnight, we instead pick up at random moments … Continue reading The Grammar Wizard: Chapter 22 of EL James’s “Grey”

Christian the Tragic Spank-Happy Hamlet: Chapter 21 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. We open, as always, with Christian waking up. Every chapter opens with people waking up, every chapter closes with people going to bed. What a fantastic way to tell a story, EL James. Back to Christian. Guess what? He's tormented: Sleep eludes me. I'm tormented by Ana's fragrance, which still clings to my bedsheets. … Continue reading Christian the Tragic Spank-Happy Hamlet: Chapter 21 of EL James’s “Grey”

Christian Builds a Glider Like a Big Boy: Chapter 20.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. We pick up in swirling post-spanking aftermath, in which Ana realizes that she really, truly isn't into BDSM -- or at least isn't into what Christian wants from her. Which isn't BDSM so much as straight-forward abuse. Ana begins crying and calls Grey a "fucked-up son of a bitch" who needs to "sort [his] … Continue reading Christian Builds a Glider Like a Big Boy: Chapter 20.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

The Spankening, Part One: Chapter 20 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. Trigger Warning: Abuse, Domestic Violence So we still  have 6 chapters left. How? I know, I'm as shocked as you are. Because this is Chapter 20, so technically I should be about 75% of the way through the book. But I'm not. I'm 88% of the way through the book. Which means that … Continue reading The Spankening, Part One: Chapter 20 of EL James’s “Grey”

STEPHANIE MEYER V. EL JAMES, ROUND 2!

Ding ding! So instead of completing her “Twilight from Edward’s perspective” book, Stephanie Meyer just dropped a brand-new Twilight re-write on the world, and if you don’t think this is Meyer thumbing her nose at James, you’re... probably right, but let me dream: Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined brings us the gender-swapped story of the … Continue reading STEPHANIE MEYER V. EL JAMES, ROUND 2!

No One Hits Like Gaston: Chapter 19.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. So Christian has just left for lunch because he needs to clear his head after a crazy morning of e-mailing Ana and doing fuck-all at his actual job. But he's an important business doer -- he can't just take the whole day off, you guys. He works so much actually: Perhaps I should … Continue reading No One Hits Like Gaston: Chapter 19.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

EL James Should Be Deeply Ashamed of Herself, and Other Basic Truths: Chapter 19 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. You guys, Christian can't sleep. He's just so worried about Leila. Sorry, sorry -- let me clarify. He's worried about whether or not Leila's suicide attempt is about him. The suicide attempt that she made in his apartment -- that's the suicide attempt he's not 100% sure involves him. But don't worry, because … Continue reading EL James Should Be Deeply Ashamed of Herself, and Other Basic Truths: Chapter 19 of EL James’s “Grey”

Suicide is So Inconvenient for Lord Moneydick: Chapter 18.3 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. Okay, folks. I can do this. I can make it to the end of Chapter 18. We pick up with Christian back at his hotel room and it seems that Ana may have melted his icy robot exterior. Let's all gather round to watch this heartwarming moment: In my room, I call Taylor. … Continue reading Suicide is So Inconvenient for Lord Moneydick: Chapter 18.3 of EL James’s “Grey”

Please Do Not Have Sex at IHOP: Chapter 18.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. When we left off, Ana and Christian just finished flying in a glider plane which managed to talk up half of a very long chapter. Now we pick up as the exciting, vivacious couple goes for breakfast. Every moment is gripping and fast-paced: will Ana have waffles or pancakes? Will there be several … Continue reading Please Do Not Have Sex at IHOP: Chapter 18.2 of EL James’s “Grey”