Celebrity in Death: A Not Completely Terrible Book

That’s probably the highest praise I can afford J.D. Robb’s latest effort: it didn’t totally suck. There were points where I was genuinely engaged — although they were few and far between.

With that said, this book starts to look like a masterpiece the more I read of 50 Shades of Grey, but that’s a post for another day.

The plot, according to Amazon, is the following:

Lieutenant Eve Dallas is no party girl, but she’s managing to have a reasonably good time at the celebrity-packed bash celebrating The Icove Agenda, a film based on one of her famous cases. It’s a little spooky seeing the actress playing her, who looks almost like her long-lost twin. Not as unsettling, though, as seeing the actress who plays Peabody drowned in the lap pool on the roof of the director’s luxury building. Now she’s at the center of a crime scene-and Eve is more than ready to get out of her high heels and strap on her holster and step into the role she was born to play: cop.

Get it, girl.

To be fair, apart from the obligatory “I hate makeup and dresses” shtick, there isn’t too much pre-packaged girl power pumped into the narrative. Instead, it’s focused around its moderately interesting whodunnit: the death of noted megabitch and celebrity, K.T. Harris. It’s a quick read, and I’m sure you could do a lot worse, but I wouldn’t actively recommend this to someone unless they had a long train or plane ride ahead; it’s distraction reading at best.

If I have one lingering pet peeve about the book, however, it’s this: when someone bases the plot of a movie or a TV show on “true crime,” very rarely do they make any effort to ensure that the actors look like the police officers involved. Yet a major plot point for this book is how eerie it is for the officers involved to see their “doubles” on the big screen, in the morgue and behind the two-way mirrors of an interrogation room.

The culprit or culprits might be cast to reflect reality. The lead detective, possibly. Two or three of the minor cops or characters? Probably not.

And now, I give you some awkward quotes taken out of context:

“There was a flavor to the sound she made, as a woman might eating soft, creamy chocolate.”

Please, please, please do not compare humans to food. It is always dumb.

“Of all he’d craved in his life, all he’d fought to gain by fair means or foul, he’d never imagined having such as she as his own. Never imagined himself the man he’d come to be because she was.”

I had to read this about three times before I could understand anything that was being said.

And some a fantastic typo:

“Holmes was, at that time, an emerging star — young, fresh, primed for her first major starring roll.”

I hope her co-star is butter.

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